I can't believe I found this...

Do you think the people on the set were just laughing hysterically whenever they did the Swedish Chef?? They had to be! Every now and then I have be known to impersonate the Swedish Chef in my very own kitchen (sans meatballs) and the kids love it.

My sister and I used to watch The Muppet Show religiously, along with my dad who was always good for a chuckle or two whenever Steve Martin guest starred. The kids rent the old Muppet Show episodes from the library and love them. Glad the oldies are still goodies.

The First Born Son

gimmefive

Five Ways I like to de-stress, relax, and chill:

1. Take a brisk walk
2. Take a bath or shower
3. Watch a movie with popcorn
4. Go browsing/shopping by myself
5. Reading to the children

I thought about writing "eat chocolate", but that is more of a band-aid than a relaxation thing.

got ethan?

gimmefive

Five favorite candies of all time...or just currently:

1. M & M's, the classic ones.
2. York Peppermint Patties
3. Butterfingers (I'm one of those weird butterscotch loving people)
4. Snickers
5. Charms Blow Pops...when you get close to the center where the gum is and you bite into it and the lollipop crunches around into the gum. OK, if you couldn't tell that's an old favorite.

I like to try all the newfangled candies they come up with at least once. For example, I bought a package of wild cherry m & m's the other day. And how about Caramel Reese's Peanut Butter cups? Tried those too. But don't tell the kids ;o)

gimmefive

Five future events I am currently looking forward to and/or planning or attending:

1. Getting the kids signed up for Rec Center classes and sports
2. Attending the new church we've committed to
3. When we find a trustworthy babysitter, I look forward to a date night out on the town with my husband
4. Looking forward to the grand opening day of Rock City Espresso...whenever that is!!
5. The Science Fair I am hostessing at our home in June

I paid a visit to The Hair Hacker and (politely) demanded a refund.

He issued one without excuse.

Hmph.

It hurt me more than it hurt you....

BEFORE

I took Ethan to get his first real haircut last night. I say "real" because last year, on his first birthday, we did take him to get 4 of his 17 hairs cut and we called it his first haircut. I think that was more ceremony than function.
Since then, to save money (I cannot pay $12 to have Ethan sit in the chair for 7 minutes to get a little trim) and any possible trauma, I have been cutting his hair at home. And I must say, I've been doing quite a good job. No Masking-Tape bangs or scissor-scratches on his neck. The downside is that it takes me close to an hour and a bag of cookies to get the job done. (Oh, the cookies are for Ethan.) Claire and I have joked that it's "Jill's Hair Joint".
Ethan's hair has only grown thicker, and it takes more work and strategy to get it looking nice. Which of course means more cookies. So last night when I took Audrey to get a cut, at the last minute I thought "Why not?" and put Ethan in the chair.
BIG MISTAKE.
I thought it was safe because the guy had just cut Audrey tresses into a bob, and did a great job. His "chairside manner" was excellent with her as she chattered away the whole time about I don't know what. He was gentle in combing and squirting with the spray bottle. He respected her request to not have the "hair blower" at the end 'cuz she was scared of it.
NOT SAFE AFTER ALL.
After a lengthy, over-protective discussion on exactly how I wanted his hair and exactly how I didn't want his hair, I stepped back to watch. To my horror, he took the clippers from front to back (I told him to start at the neck so I could see how short the clippers would make it) and shaved Ethan's head as if he were a lamb in spring. Huge tufts of hair floated down on his shoulders and onto the floor. I began to make small moaning noises, then as my voice came back to my throat I said...

"I...I...it's so short....that's not how short I wanted it."

"Oh, but this is the clipper length I showed you," replied The Hair Hacker.

"Well I guess it's too late now, isn't it??"

"Hey by the end of the summer it'll be all grown out though right? And he'll be nice and cool for the summer." The Hair Hacker's attempt at consoling this fuming mother was NOT working.

"I just didn't want it this short."

"Uh-oh I bet Daddy's gonna be mad huh?"

"YES. HE IS." At this moment I was picturing tying him to the chair with the hair dryer cord and shaving off all his coiffed hair then supergluing it to his back so this summer when he was at the pool, he'd look NICE AND COOL.

"Aw, you're making me feel bad here." He ACTUALLY said that! How about "I apologize"?? Or "The haircut is on the house"?? That would've calmed me down several notches. Enough to where I wouldn't get arrested for what I was thinking of doing to him.

In the end, I gathered up a clump of the fallen hair, paid the bill, and walked out. My precious angel had sat in the chair as still as could be, not saying a word or moving an inch, trusting that Mom was right there watching his back. And while he is still gorgeous and perfect, I can't help reliving the experience in my mind wishing I could fix it somehow...

AFTER